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What should a mother of a 3-year-old do when her husband is addicted to marijuana and she disapproves even though he does not do it in the house or around the child? |
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A step-by-step "how-to" instruction.
Opinion
Use is not abuse. Just because you disapprove doesn't mean he is addicted. However, if you know he is going off to buy a bag I'd ask him if he thinks that money should go towards his dealer or his child? Both of you should then go to an ATM and deposit the money in an account that goes toward a college fund for the child. Don't expect him to do this every time. If you give him the choice of improving his child's life or smoking some weed, a reasonable person should choose their child. If he doesn't ever want to improve the child's life then I think you should improve his and leave the dumbass.
Opinion
Regardless of where he smokes it is still illegal. If he were to be arrested, and it was brought to the attention of CPS (which is quite possible). You might have a lot of explaining to do. The judge would not look favorably upon a parent who knew the other parent had a chemical addiction, yet was still allowed to be around a child(ren). That may not seem fair, but it is fact. You could lose custody of your child, depending on the circumstances. My child would be my first priority. I would tell him to make a choice his family or his "weed."
Opinion
Legalities AND his addictive personality both matter. Put your foot down. Insist he get help. No good will come of the smoking. It's a red flag.
Opinion
Marijuana does not cause violent behaviour. It will not turn your husband into a homicidal maniac. If anone can find a single documented case of marijuana alone (not taken with any other drugs) causing violent behavior, I will retract my statement.
Marijuana use is a problem if it interferes with his relationships with you, your child, other relatives, friends, or his employer. If it really bothers you for any reason then you should discuss it rationally and come to an understanding about its place in his life and yours. If you can't live with someone who uses marijuana, then he should respect your feelings if he wants to be with you. If he would like to stop for any reason and he cannot, then that is a problem and he should seek counselling. However, if he doesn't do it around you or your child and it doesn't cause problems with his work or his social life, if he uses it rather than it using him, then where is the harm?
The idea that marijuana will cause you husband to kill you and your child is ridiculous. If he is an alcoholic or a meth addict, that's a different story. But a pothead? Please!
Opinion
Did your husband have these habits before the marriage and child's birth? If these are not new habits, then you've got to consider that you've allowed it for this long, why should he change his lifestyle now?
Typically, marijuana has very little negative effects, and if he is being safe about it (as it is a crime to possess marijuana) you're luckier than many. The fact that he leaves your home to consume shows his consideration towards you and his child, but if it is becoming a hassle or a financial burden, then it is something that needs to be discussed.
Your husband could be an alcoholic which destroys millions of families. He could be addicted to hard drugs putting his future at risk, along with your family. Marijuana (excepting that it is illegal) is hardly harmful.
First answer by Nikki. Last edit by Sippinondew. Contributor trust: 1 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 157 [recommend question]
