What are the roles of a parent for their 16-year-old child?

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I think the parents of a 16 year old child should be there to guide the child through life, and that is letting them make their own mistakes. The parents cannot give up on setting and keeping the rules. The child might fight them, but they need them! They don't need best friends instead of parents, they need parents. Keep them as safe as you can without getting too restrictive by not letting them explore the world. That is my opinion that's what I needed when I was 16. Which was not that long ago.

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Well, first of all, you MUST reinforce the concept that they are not entitled to do whatever they want to, and they are not entitled to act goth, emo, etc. Many teens think that it's their choice, but if you have a budding goth, point out how lucky they are to live with a roof over their head, and go to school. Examine how inappropriate their response to this is. TALK TO THEM.

Remember, good grades and goals in life are crucial as well at this point.

Additionally, make it a point to know where they are at all times. If they say they will be at a friend's house call to check in with their parents. At this age, they are frequently exposed to drugs on a daily basis, and it takes an incredible parent to pull them through high school unscathed.

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I am the absent parent of a soon to be 16 year old. She has 2 older sibling girls that have both been pregnant at this time in their life. I am telling her I am your parent not your friend. She needs direction and come to me for that. Although that seems to be diminishing as of late. She regards her 20 year old sister as someone to emulate. I love my 20 year old but the path she has taken is a long hard road. Now my youngest daughter (15 plus y/o) seems to think she can do whatever. Disrespecting her mom, going out and being unaccountable. She knows in my home in New York that is not allowed. She continues to not stay with me because of rules. As I tell her I have to be to work at such a time and there will always be rules for me....also!!!

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The biggest role of a parent, is NOT to regard your 16 year old as a CHILD. They are NOT children, but young people. It is so demeaning for a 16 year old to be regarded as a child. Move on and allow you 16yr old to grow and mature.

Your biggest role has to be to guide them and relate to them. Were you 16 once? How would you like to be treated??? Keep that in your thoughts.

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Your role as a parent is not to be their friend. They have plenty of friends who will try to influence them in the wrong direction. I remember when I was young.

You are responsible to guide them in the right direction. Teach them about the responsibilities that they will soon be facing as they head out on their own. Teach them about the kinds of scams that people will try to use to take advantage of them. Teach them about the importance of a good education, and a college degree. Teach them about the importance of following the laws of this country, and doing what is right and moral. Too many young people these days are impulsive and do not understand the consequences of their actions. A person can ruin their life in just a matter of seconds by making a foolish decision.

Unlike the previous poster, they ARE still children. They are still very naive. They have much less experience in life than they think. They might be book smart, and technology smart, but they aren't street smart. Try to give them advice on what to look for when doing things like buying a car, a house, insurance, investing for their future. Emphasize the importance of saving for their retirement. Explain the foolishness of buying the glittery things like video games, expensive clothes, cell phones, CDs and DVD, a flashy sports car. Those things don't last. Saving even just a little bit of their monthly income each paycheck, can mount up to thousands of dollars by the time that they want to hang up their working clothes and enjoy retirement. Living out your last days in a nursing home, or an efficiency apartment and trying to live off of your social security check is not a fun way to enjoy your last years. They really won't feel the reduction in spending money.

Emphasize the importance of not running up debt. Teach them that the credit card and loan companies will try to offer them all kinds of things, and try to brainwash them into feeling that they 'deserve' that expensive car, rent-to-own furniture, stereo, or computer equipment. Teach them to live within their income. Teach them to develop a budget and stick to it.

They will try to rebel. They will disrespect you. They won't appreciate all that you have done for them. Be their parent and prepare them to lead a successful life instead of trying to be their friend, and not preparing them. They will realize in a few years what you have done for them. They will give you the respect that you have earned. They will be there for you when you need them.

To do any less is to let them down. To do any less is to throw away all that you have invested in them. To do any less is to be careless. To do any less is to not be worthy of their respect. To do any less is to be a failure as a parent and just taking the easy way. To do any less is to send them out into the world unprepared.

If you don't prepare them... If you are not firm... Be prepared for them to move back in after they fail. They will not respect you. They will resent you. They will try to take advantage of you, because you showed them that you are weak.

Learning from somebody else's mistakes is a lot less painful than learning from your own. Your children don't have to go through the pain caused by not listening to some good advice. Take the time to give them that good advice. Show them that you really care about their well being and happiness.

You are not there to treat them like you would want to be treated. You are there to prepare them for life. If your child is 16, you only have a few years left to properly prepare them.

I wish you luck. DaytonaHead
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A parent's job is give the kids two things- WINGS and ROOTs

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Daytona Head, You are right on! Being a role model and a coach is absolutely imperative during the transitioning years.

It is also possible to prepare them for life but treat them the way you would like for them to treat other people ( and difficult to do). Parenting a young adult is as you pointed out a thankless and selfless act. Objectivity is critical. As this is also preparing them for life. Otherwise the do as I say, not as I do ploy occurs.

Point them to real life examples and let them know you believe in their ability to make a good decisions ( even if it is a stretch at the moment ) ASK THEM what they think went wrong when situatons do ( and will ) occur.

Enduring and suceeding this stretch of the road is not for the faint hearted. The hard work will pay off ( GOD WILLING ). Press on!

What doesnt kill you will make you stronger in Buckeystown Md.

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