How do you know if your marriage therapist is doing a good job?

Answer

There is no universal "checklist". Whether a treatment modality is successful or not depends on what were its original goals (the treatment contract). If you wanted to develop personal boundaries and are in the process of doing so, it definitely is a success. If you both sought to minimize his abusive conduct and this is happening - the therapy is working. There are many such targets: to develop communication skills, to lower narcissistic or other defenses, to minimize emotional lability, to change social settings (for instance, by relocating), to find meaning, to cope with stresses, to agree on common strategies regarding your children, to enhance the stability of the relationship - and this is a very partial list!

So, the answer to your question is: if the therapy is meeting your expectations - the therapist is doing a good job!

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