How do you get along with your mother when you are a teen and you believe she does not love you because you are adopted?

Answer

People who want to adopt do so because they really want a child and I think your mother feels blessed she has you. The reactions you may be getting from her now is not because she doesn't love you, but because she does! You have to be honest within yourself and realize what a teenager is. They can slack off of school (get poor grades), stay out too late at night and worry especially the mother; hang around with the wrong crowd of so-called friends and also drink too much or perhaps even smoke Marijuana (not accusing you). Perhaps you aren't doing your share of chores around the house. All teenagers go through this with parents because teenagers are flexing their wings of independence and you're no different.

Please sit down with your mother and tell her how you feel. If you learn anything in this world learn "Communication skills!" Your mom will set things straight fast! She loves you, but both of you are in a growing spirt. Also mothers know that when their children become teenagers it's a sign they won't be living at home for much longer and mothers usually miss their kids, but she knows one day she is going to have to let you go for your sake so you can grow into a mature and independent adult.

I think there is a little bit more to the way you feel. Some teens that finally find out they were adopted may feel like they "don't belong anywhere" and perhaps you are searching for your birth mother and also trying to find out who your father is. This isn't uncommon. Some teens just need to know why their biological mother gave them away and they are curious to see what she looks like or what their father looks like and what kind of character they are. If this is the case then discuss this with your mother too and perhaps both of you can resolve this problem. If you can't find out who your birth mother is know that many young mothers give their babies away simply because they are too young and can't afford to raise a baby and it's not because they didn't love you.

Just because women can have babies doesn't mean they are all good mothers either. It takes work, patience and dedication for 18 years or more to raise a child and it's expensive as well. It also doesn't mean that because women can't have their own children and choose to adopt can't be good mothers. Some of the most loving mothers I've known have adopted their child(ren.) To most childless couples they don't look upon adopting a baby as it's "not their blood." Blood doesn't mean diddly squat; it's the love, devotion, being there for their child and developing happy memories for that child growing up. There are some biological parents out there that should have never had children! So, sit down and go over how you have been acting lately and see if that could be the reason you feel this lack of love. I think you're mom is simply worried about you and the lack of love has nothing to do with it.

Have that talk with your mom! I think you're smart and I don't think you really believe your mom doesn't love you. It's calling growing pains for both of you! Work together, not against each other.

First answer by Marcy. Last edit by Marcy. Contributor trust: 4102 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 20 [recommend question]