Discussion on 'What is ambient or stealth abuse?'

(1) On October 12, 2007 at 10:21 pm Josephine8 [0] said:

Indeed, all the subjects related to abuse, I live it constantly... denial of his abuse, physical and financial threats, he will not talk about my feelings ever, disregards them and his disdain towards me deep in his eyes. I am really sorry to hear there are people living this kind of perverse atmosphere, I would not wish it on my worst enemy. It affects all aspects of one's life. My vital energies are drained. I can not express any feelings with my husband. I have lost interest in lots of activities. He sleeps all the time and does not get involved in extracurricular activities ever... he has no interests in anything except his work and the newspaper. The ambience is poluted for any person in the household. I have just lost my work. I feel trapped for now. I just hope that I will pursue my life quickly on my own... with my two kids in tow... taking care of my inner child who is seeking love in the wrong place. It revolves around my internal Self. Not easy to dig deep and face the pain of reject from this relationship and my abusive mom for when I was younger. All in all, I am a real darn great generous woman, beautiful, fun and full of life... I got to reach out for her and move on... This is why so many women stay... it is relying on the Self that has been abused and demeaned for so so long... The Self is so diminished... and the "bourreau" is the one we have opened up with... and shared our lives and given wonderful kids and our hearts... To be trashed in the end... I need to find the Self.. it is there but one needs to find it and connect with it. I am part of a group. My husband has started therapy because I took an appartment... but nothing has changed.. and with all the statistics of abusive men seeking help only 2% only manage to make appropriate changes within two years... Facing the ambient vile atmosphere of superficiality in our house where I can not have emotions is destroying whatever I have left of energies. Leaving also is scaring me for a multitude of fears... Until I can grab my fears and move on with my need to leave and live it up in my soul... only time will tell... but soon is not soon enough... All the best to the struggling people with abusive and violent partners... I pray that they find the courage as well...

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