Can children of narcissistic parents ever recover?

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YES, you can recover from NPD Parents!

First of all you need to learn about recovery and what recovery really is. There is 12 step recovery and then there is therapy and then there is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT \"Tapping on Emotional Issues to Clear Them\") and there is the recovery model in the mental health field.

There are stages to your recovery: First you realize something is wrong and you go about searching for answers. Then you discover what NPD is and it is a devastating stage to go through as it is like losing a parent that never existed in the first place. Seek support from someone who will listen and validate you and not deny your reality. It is extremely hard to find someone who can supportively listen to someone talk negatively about a parent to the extent of never wanting to speak to your parent ever again. This is shocking to people who had loving parents. Thus, your reality is invalidated which causes further injury, emotional abandonment and rejection. Then one may look further to either find a therapist who \"gets it\" or to seek your own kind - to see if there are any other adult children of NPD parents.

The sad yet good news is that there are many of us out there and they are forming online support groups more and more. Just do a Google search on what you are looking for, like \"narcissistic parent forums\" or something like that and do some research. If you found your way here, you know enough to do some searches.

There you will find support and MOST IMPORTANTLY - VALIDATION. It is the one major thing we did not have growing up, we had no voice, we had no boundaries, we had no loving care and our reality was invalidated so much we were left not knowing what to believe, even our own gut intuition. Thus we had to guess at what normal is. And so forth.

Then the next stage of recovery once you have found your \"tribe\" is the stage of just being able to finally talk about it, hear how others are talking about it, hear how others are dealing with it, etc. etc. This is a bittersweet stage but it can bring a sense of a new freedom and renewed hope. You get what you never had - support, validation, listening. It's like the family you never had. You may not like everyone but you know they \"get it\" and that forms a special bond that helps repair the fact that you had a mother/father who could not bond.

When you start to get the feeling that you are starting to get tired of hearing all the venting and complaining and realizing that the focus is still on the NPD person, past or present you may be one of the lucky ones to look for further recovery. There is more than just being validated and seeing how wicked and bad the NPD is. That is when you begin to look at you.

This can be done in therapy and or via 12 Step, say Alanon or Codependency type recovery or Adult Children type of recovery. It's not really enough, but close enough. Some of them don't really \"get it\" either because their focus is on alcoholism of course and most people in society don't even know what a Personality Disorder is. But if you take the Pro-Active suggestions for SELF-CARE you will be recovering. You will be recovering yourself and your self-neglect behaviors that you internalized from having a parent that programmed you to love them but not yourself.

Self-Care is extremely important - I can't emphasize this enough. Why? Because when you take care of yourself and all your needs (1.) you are providing what you did not get as a child and (2.) you are experiencing what you did not get as a child. There is a healing magic in that experience.

OK, back to recovery. There is also The Recovery Model which is relatively new and it's in the Mental Health field and it's about Wellness. So you can search for WRAP - Wellness Recovery Action Plans. Basically it's about self-care to stay well and knowing your triggers and red-flags and having wellness/healthy strategies in dealing with them, new ways. This is great because you are creating your own individualized recovery program. Your recovery can include going to 12 step or other support type meetings - support for emotional abuse, childhood abuse, relationship abuse, etc. etc. Your recovery can include working the 12 Steps which is really about taking a look at yourself and stop blaming the NPD for all your problems which in turn helps empower you to make changes to be more in control of your life and your reactions and not feel like a helpless victim anymore.

Once in Recovery, alot of emotions come up naturally. The best, easiest, painless, fastest way I have found - and I've been looking for a good 20 years now - is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). They don't call it Emotional Freedom for nothing. It truly helps relieve you of distressful, intense feelings and the body sensations that go along with them when you are triggered and upset. All those fears and anxieties, all the regrets and resentments, the rage, the deep sadness and pain, all the stuff you put up with, all the sick dysfunctional relationships you wasted your love and energy and time on - ALL of these things can be "Tapped" on. You Tap on acupuncture points while feeling the distressful feeling - you don't even have to get all the way into the feeling, you don't have to have a breakdown or breakthrough or whatever, and you don't even need to analyze or figure it out and all that. All you have to do is tap and your body relaxes, the emotion subsides and your brain then naturally sort of processes the issue and you feel like it's behind you now.

You can learn EFT for FREE right from the source at emofree.com where it's creator Gary Craig offers a FREE manual of how to learn it - it's really very easy, you just memorize about 12 tapping spots, and the site has hundreds of pages of examples and tips etc. all free. So why not use it on NPD Parent Recovery issues? You can use it on anything. You can also search Utube for videos showing you how to use EFT.

So that brings us to the final stage of recovery which is basically getting a life and living it for the rest of your life. It is about creating your life the way you want it, self-care, learning how to socialize with the good people, learning what to do with your triggers and issues, learning what you enjoy in your life, taking actions that are positive and have positive experiences and results for you. And therein lies the recovery life - you do things that give you a positive experience. Notice I said DO things - you don't wait until you "feel like it" or until you are recovered or healed enough or until your depression goes away or whatever, you are pro-active and you take action and you just do it like Nike says.

You can Tap you can read spiritual and recovery material, you can pray, you can work the 12 Steps, you can devise a WRAP, you can go to therapy, you can read books on your disorders, you can express yourself in groups or in journals, but until you begin to IMPLEMENT healthy actions into your life not much can or will change for you. Why? Well, what the heck do you think you are recovering? You are recovering your life and yourself. It's more than what you are recovering from; it's what you are recovering to. What are you moving toward? What action can you take today that will make you feel good, valued, special, loved, healthy, well? What are you even like when you are well? What actions do you have to take every day to stay well? Every week or month or once in awhile? Because if you did not take these actions what would happen?

You would relapse, whatever relapse means to you. You can relapse into old behaviors, old ways of thinking, depressions, fears, addictions, isolating, etc. You know how you've been dealing with the affects of NPD - the best way you could given that you had no knowledge or resources. But now you do have knowledge and resources and though you were not in any way responsible for what happened to you, you are responsible for yourself and your life and your recovery now and for the rest of your life. So you might as well make the best of it.

Recovery is the reward for all your hard work my friends. Recovery is more than the absence of pain, it is the new freedom and joy of life that you never even knew you could ever have. It's new friends, its peace and serenity, it's what you make it and many surprises along the way as well. Life will not always be great, no one said you are exempt from further traumas, tragedies, illnesses, hurts, losses, etc. life is still life, the good and the bad - but - you don't have to trudge it alone and you have tools now to help you get through.

Then when you are there, you will turn and look and see how far you have come and you will see and know that there are so many more out there still suffering that you may want to share your recovery with others so that they too have a shot at this thing.

Lastly, one huge aspect of NPD recovery for adult children is the topic of relationships. It's not bad enough we had NPD parents, but guess what? We get to have all the fun of marrying them and working for them and having them as best friends and the like until we have hit our bottom so to speak and take a look at why we are always victim to them, attracting them or attracted to them in some unconscious way. This is a big part of the recovery process, too much to write about here, but it includes taking a look at what you were thinking when you first met the N's in your life, and challenging beliefs you have about yourself (I'm too damaged, Healthy people are boring, I can fix him, I'll be rewarded for all my sacrifice, I can get approval from her, and finally I will be alright then.) When this survival plan does not work it is a devastating place to be in. You've tried your upmost best, given all of yourself and all of your prime years, your energy, time and money into trying to make these relationships work. Of course you did, you were programmed from the cradle to do so. It's ok that you did this, but now it's time to take a look at it and learn about choices you have, learn new ways of being in the world, new ways of relating to others, etc. And the reward is real, supportive and loving relationships in your life. Don't be surprised if this takes a bit of getting used to. You're not used to love and support. But my friends, you deserve it. You have been giving it your whole life - just imagine someone like yourself giving that love to you. Hopefully you are smiling with tears in your eyes right now because I am. I am smiling because This response to the question "Can we recover" is the result of my recovery and I'm so grateful I have so much to give to you. Stop by and visit me some time, I'm working on a website to do more of this - give recovery tips and teach people to Tap for emotional freedom, healing and growth. I call it PsyQiSoma (dot com) - Psy for the MIND, Qi for ENERGY and Soma for the BODY. It will be a work in progress so more will be added to it over time. I might just post this whole answer there as well.

If I can recover, you can too. I ran away from home at 14 and then got thrown into a mental hospital and then rehabs for acting out. I never went back home. My mother ended up homeless for years and alot of other drama. I've been on my own since age 17 and went to community colleges because I was so interested in psychology to try and figure out what the hell is going on here. Is she crazy or am I? I suffered great depression, ended up married to an N, lost everything after years of hard work to make it, and hit my bottom hard. But that question led to a life time of social work and a Master's degree in Psychology. And my love for my son refused to let me give up. So I attend 12 step meetings, I've done some great therapy and some not so great and since 2002 I've been tapping my problems away to a new life. I tap on my fears when I want to take a healthy risk. I practice self-care and take recovery actions on a regular basis. So my recovery has been a combination of these things, and your recovery will be a combination of things that will work for you. Take what you can use and disregard the rest.

TLC

J'net

Children of Narcissistic Parents

Of course it is possible. But to continue to be in touch with your abusers may not be the best way to go about it!These may be of interest:

• http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal43.html
• http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq68.html
• http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/torturepsychology.html
• http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/trauma.html
• http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq80.html

My book: "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

Here are more answers and opinions from FAQ Farmers:

• I know exactly how you feel, because I am going through the same thing, only with my father. I did post two questions concerning parental abuse, and Sam gave me very good answers. It is possible to recover, but it can take many years of therapy. You are lucky to have a supportive spouse; I did not. In fact, I married someone much like my father, and finally ended it after 21 years. I have suffered severe trauma - not only because of my father's abuse, but because his treatment of me caused self-esteem problems that, in turn, caused me to become a magnet to others who abused me. I, too, suffer from PTSD, and it has taken me many years to overcome this; I still struggle with some memories, but am much stronger now. I have decided to use my experiences to help others, and I am currently in graduate school majoring in counseling.

• I would ask "recover from what?" If the answer is recover from never really being allowed a voice, independence, and freedom to be an individual while being totally dependant on your narcissistic parents, I would say the answer is no. It is similar in my mind to losing a parent as a child: you will never really get "over it;" it is just something that you will get beyond. You must come to grips with the fact that you didn't have what most people would consider an entitlement. But that doesn't mean you cannot become a fulfilled person as an adult. I firmly believe you can let ultimately let go of that image you've been used to maintaining in order to please your narcissitic parents, and truly become your own person, accepting the fact that you can't hope to be yourself while trying to please them.

• I'd say I am in the intermediate stages of letting go of that terrible image of myself that my parents created. I was raised by two controlling narcissitic parents. My mother joined a high-control religious group early in my child hood, and I was raised to believe that if I didn't follow its belief systems to the letter I was evil. Any expression of question/dissent was proof of my badness. My mother always called me the bad seed. She was obsessed with her family's image. She told my sister that she was embarrassed that her daughter had a weight problem because it was a bad reflection on her. The end result was the my sister is chronically overweight and uses food for comfort, and I developed anorexia, partly because I felt it was up to me to live up to her image of a perfect daughter, and that meant a slim, pretty one. Anyway, I eventually left the control group, and my mother has been punishing me ever since. She's like two people: she wants to appear like a loving mother, but then when she's alone with me, she says some of the most horrible, hurtful things to me. She says I embarrassed her because I'm not in the religion; she constantly puts me down, subtly and overtly. The last straw was when she started putting down my children because I wasn't raising them in the religion and according to HER values. That's where I took back my power. I told her in no uncertain terms how I felt about her controlling, manipulating, behavior as I was growing up, and that she cared more about how she looked in her religious community than she did about her own children. She told me I was crazy, that I needed therapy (she never even knew I had sought counseling on my own to deal with my upbringing), and that I only cared about myself, not her. I haven't spoken to her in several months. My sister called--as she is the family "peacemaker," and is in the religion, of course--but I'm just not ready to let her back into my life. My mother will never apologize, because I'm sure she thinks I'm just again being the "bad seed." The cycle has been: my mom pushes the limit in hurting me, I stop speaking to her; my sister calls and gets and update on my after a few months; shortly afterward my dad calls with my mom on the line. No apologies offered: just let's forget everything and go back to the way it was. The last time this happened, my mom actually said "you can talk to Dad, I have a religious meeting to attend." She had to make it clear, of course, her priorities, even though we hadn't spoken in months. Trouble is, the cycle always continues because nothing ever gets resolved. The old wounds eventually open for me, and of course, my parents never see any problem with themselves, only me. So, I am taking my life back and not feeling like I owe them anything. I have two small children who I'm trying to raise. I know I'm not a perfect parent; no one is. But, having these babies, seeing their need for loving guidance, independence, and true nurturance of them as individuals, it makes me realize how controlling, selfish, and narcissistic my mother and father were. My mother's never offered to babysit them; even when I had a newborn and would have welcomed them to take my older one for the day, they took him out for an hour to McDonald's, and then brought him back. My mom pointed out that Dad can't deal very well with small kids (nor can she, I thought). People think it's somehow cruel not to pursue a relationship for the sake of the grandkids, but my parents only want to see them for a short period of time: on THEIR terms, which my mom makes clear must be scheduled around her religious activities. My children are worth more than that. And so was I. Enough. I personally must distance myself from them for now and indefinately. And I'm feeling better every day. Of course, my parents have never been clinically diagnosed with NPD (they'd never even see a therapist, since there's nothing wrong with THEM, only other people!). But as I've started reading more into this syndrome, it was like a major discovery. Particurly with the "in love with their own image" concept. That's EXACTLY how I felt growing up! It's been very healing.

• I really appreciate your history and honesty. I, too, was raised by a narcisstic mother. I won't go into the details, but I want to tell you that sometimes, when there is a lot of money (inheritance) involved, we children will try to please, please, please the parent because of the threat of disinheritance or abandonment. Then, after the narcissistic parents have eaten us up psychically and emotionally, they will give all the money away to others, outside of the family. The "others" will, of course, worship the givers (our parents) as being so altruistic and all-loving. It is easy to give to a stranger; it is difficult to truly "give" to an insider, one's own family. My message for you is this: follow your own instinct. Forget about the millions of dollars you might have inherited. The price is too great, your integrity is above value. What is important is your spiritual growth. You are on the right hand path. I wish you the best. I tried to take care of my narcissistic mother in her declining years. She was a chronic alcoholic, lifetime smoker, and is still alive at 88 years old in the most prestigious placement in La Jolla, California. I am convinced that she will continue to live so long because God doesn't want her (nor does Satan because he cant trust her). The evil that men do (was that Shakespeare?) lives on forever. Don't let it interfere with your spiritual growth. Stay close to your children, let them express their own ideas, read to them, ask their opinions.

• Yes, you can! You should! Because you are worth it, and it is your responsibility and challenge to not repeat the sins of your narcissistic parent!My mother at the age of 77 is still manipulating, bribing, and trying to control her last remaining child (out of three) that she hasn't exiled or excommunicated because they weren't behaving the way she demands. At an early ag, I somehow instinctively knew that my mother wasn't right, in that she wasn't the loving, nurturing and compassionate woman a mother should be. I use to wonder why she acted like a 6-year old. I use to wonder why she was so mean to me when I didn't do anything wrong but be myself. I use to wonder why she never had an original thought. I use to wonder why she never paid me much attention, focusing on my younger sister, the spoiled brat. Well, somehow I saw her true colors and have been punished for it, but I sleep at night knowing I have my self-respect and dignity. Only until last year I really didn't know her personality was truly a recognized personality disorder when my spoiled brat of a sister, NOW A THERAPIST IN THERAPY, nonchalantly said, oh yes, she's a narcissist. Go look up NPD and she's there. Dr. Phil talks about pivoltal moments, and boy, was that the biggest I have ever had. In the last year I have found more answers to the hell on earth that I have had to endure as her daughter, and the damage she caused. My father was a very selfish man, but he had a little more empathy than she, and that's not saying much. Sadly, my mother has bought off my sister's loyalty and servitude, and my brother and I have been separated from enjoying from my father's life of hard work. I have spent a lifetime forgiving my mother for her bad behaviour, but I no longer will. I believe narcissists know when they are being cruel and mean and are causing pain, and they need to be checked and corrected, and told in no uncertain terms their actions and words and behavior are causing harm. And if they don't want to change, show them the door. The toxicity of their personalities will poison anyone who doesn't please them, and perhaps it's a subconscious reason why I never wanted children. I wouldn't let them near the woman who calls herself my mother, so to avoid the issue, long ago decided I didn't want to bring them into the world. My parents had three children: the oldest, a boy, is married, I and my sister have never married. Out of three children, no grandchildren and the girls are unmarried. Does that not tell you something? My spirit somehow found sanctuary in the unshakeable belief that I was worthy, and that I had a right to do what I wanted to in life to be a healthy, happy individual. I have been punished for that, but I have faith in God that I will be ok and that I will overcome the years of pain and misery. At least I try, and that's all you can do. Keep trying, and educate yourself and educate your loved ones about NPD and how to recognize it, and not let these evil creatures do anymore harm to you or those around you.

• The N I was with adores his 2 little girls but they pay a high price for being his daughters. They react to him the same way I did. One appears to be more emotionally traumatised than the other. She is always buttering up her dad and giving him those looks that say, "It's ok dad, the world is tough on you but we love you". This little girl is a vegetarian, fears riding in cars, is a high achiever, clings to the female in his life at the time and is a true humanitarian; remarkable for her age. The other is more vivacious and has more strength to cope with her lot. She is the practical joker, the outspoken one. Their dad and I were having an 'off' day; quite common. No shouting or beratting; the atmosphere was enough. I proceeded to pack my bags and go home but as I got to the door there were the 2 little things blocking the door and crying, "Dont go please". I went but had to come back later because I had become the desserter. This N used his children to keep me under control. They came to rely on me and in turn I loved them. It was not uncommon though for him to belittle me to them; luckily they could see through the act, most of the time. This N is now out of my life. He cant be friends; he doesnt know what friends are. By me leaving he refuses to have me see the children; his handle on control took a battering although he didnt really like me anyway. I miss them very much and I fear for their sanity. Their ages are 8 and 9. I am currently working on recovering from the effects of a narcissistic mother, my sister is also in the recovery proces. our ages 39 and 48. It's a hard recovery because the narcisist is so manipulative and lies so well you don't know what is real and what is not real. As a child I was extremely shy, through out my life my self esteem was destroyed by hidden disapproval, and criticism. her criticism was always indirect but very hurtful. We never felt pretty enough, thin enough or good enough, Yet when we were presented to others we were the most beautiful, thinnest girls. I was conidered the mouthy one because I would get so frutrated when I would go to my mother for emotional support because something happened at school or my older brothers teased me or hit me, my mothers response was always one of the following "that's ridiculous", "your too sensitive", "your imagining it", "thats not true". My sister was the "good one, the caretaker". My mother has never said she was proud of us, I have a successful career and have a wonderful family, but until recently constantly tried to obtain her approval, which I never got. My older brother, a drug addict and also a narcissist is her " golden child" he can do no wrong. My mother bad mouths me to my sister and bad mouths my sister to me, she exagerates the truth and even lies, she bad mouths us to all the relatives and they think we are terrible kids. I don't know why she wants to make us look like we are terrible people who treat her badly, when infact we spent our lives trying to please her and get her approval, impossible. My mother is very negative she loves to have problems and hate solutions as a matter of fact hate is one of her favorite words, " I hate that, I hate this", she puts you down any way she can, "oh your eating that, oh you like that". Any way My sister and I have both seeked therapy (separately), I am developing more confidence and self esteem, and have learned not to expect anything from my mother, It is hard to emotionally break free from her and the pain she has caused. I am working on improving my relationship with my 3 brothers and sister. I am working on increasing my self esteem and confidence and trying to find happiness, I am getting there, luckily I have a supportive husband and a good therapist and an awareness of who my mother is. Growing up with a narcissistic mother leaves a child with a lonely and empty feeling! (my father was emotionally detatched)

• I have only just learned that I came from a narcissistic family. I have always known that something was wrong with my family and out of 5 brothers and one sister I had the most trouble coping. My dad was always gone drinking and cheating and only watched tv when he came home. My mom was always "busy" and didn't interact much, "go outside and play" stills plays in my head. It was always arguing between my parents. I remember my dad always accusing my mom of things I knew couldn't be true. I was always with her. I now know he accused her of all the things he did himself. I disconnected alot from the rest of the family. Years later it was a blessing in disguise but the narcissism still carried over. I feel like I shouldn't have carried as much with me but it's hard to recover from something if you don't know what it is. It's taken me 11 years of hard research to figure it out. And much of that time is spent getting misdiagnosed by bonehead doctors. With all the labels I can see why it would be so hard for a local certified textbook taught hero would have trouble diagnosing someone. But my experience taught me that many of those doctors pretend to know what's going on even when they don't. Who lacks empathy?

• Yes, you have to get away from them and spend lots of time around normal, healthy people. Lots of time!

• Learning the trauma that one goes through being the child of a Narcisstic parent was instrumental in helping me decide 'not' to marry and have children with my ex-fiance' Narcissist. Thank you for sharing. Please know your stories helped to prevent the same pain you've experienced to be inflicted upon my own unborn children. Rest assured you are precious and worthy souls - deserving of every good and perfect thing. Best wishes, AlwaysLearning
  
  
  
• It has taken me 7 years to recover from a Narcissistic mother. I am now 39 and my journey of recovery started when I had a complete breakdown at 32. I was so self protected and emotionally shut down with inner feelings of anger and a need to be in control it affected any relationship I was in and I couldn't sustain longterm friendships. I couldn't open up for fear of being 'abused' and rejected. I am now happy, have a great set of friends. My business gives me fulfillment and joy and I am truely living. It was really hard work and I had to relearn values that I was not taught as a child. I now TRUST which is huge for me and I feel ready to enter a relationship. I am a success story and very proud of myself. So YES we can recover and live with an inner peace and contentment!!!
  
  
• I am currently 17 years old and I've always felt emotionally....wrong where my mother is involved. It first occurred to me that she may have narcissistic tendencies when I was looking at this book about it online. Then I started doing some research and I felt like I was reading an in depth description of my mother.
  After divorcing my father, she remarried my step father who plays the characteristic 'suck up, scapegoat' kid, as weird as it is. She certainly treats him like a child. He tries very hard to please her, all the time, putting his own feelings aside. She is extremely manipulative with him.
  My mother seems to put others opinions way before hers. Its always about not embarrassing her in public. I've learned to lie to doctors because she said 'they could use the information against us.' She threatened me with things like 'they'll make you go live with your father if you don't do what I want.'
  She always needs pity. She makes me feel cold and unloving when I don't want to give it. Everything I say about her in public is embarrassing. She wants to know what was said about her.
  You know, its really amazing that she can remember to cynically nag me about my medication every day (as if trying to remind me about any weakness I might have) but not about the fact that she replaced some of my belongings without asking, and then pretended not to notice when I was angry.
  She also has developed a habit that sounded pretty crazy, even to me, as a child. She would 'steal' my friends.... of course anyone I told this to would sincerely doubt this. I mean, what would a 40 year old woman be doing trying to gain acceptance from all the 7th graders? It didn't make sense. Even to me.
  But even to this day, I don't bring friends over for sleepovers because shes always just in the other room, listening to my conversations, or 'just checking on us' or always trying to make my friends laugh. Spotlights always on her. When I whine about it, even my friends think I'm a spoiled little brat.
  Basically I hate her and I just want out. Unfortunately my grades have fallen over the past years in high school and its going to make college a challenge. I blame her for this, as she always used my grades as a way to measure my worthiness, ESPECIALLY after I made the mistake of talking about hating school so much, feeling really out of sync with other students.
  I just hope I find a way out.....
  Well, thanks for listening... it felt good to have a little bit of an outlet here. I hope we can all get past this and just have loving relationships....where we can feel the love on both sides. No manipulation involved.
  
  

Yes! It is very possible to recover from narcissistic parents. My biological father is narcissistic, and I am on the road to recovery. I would highly recommend cutting contact with said parent, but there are ways to maintain contact and still recover. The key point is to realize that they are never going to change, and that their actions are not your fault. I was lucky, for my mother realized what was happening and divorced my father. I have four siblings, ranging from my oldest brother (24), to my youngest sister (13). I am almost 18 years old, and currently planning on being adopted by my mom's fiance after I turn 18.

This isn't meant to be an in-depth answer, just a quick note saying that there is always hope. I may be only 17, but I know the pain of a narcissistic parent. I also know the feeling of "maybe they'll change! Maybe things will get better!" The truth is, it won't change. They'll always exploit you, and it's not your fault. You need to do what you need to do, and if you figure out some way to keep them in your life, more power to you. Just remember, they don't change, you do.

~Kass

First answer by anonymous. Last edit by Comeonecomeall. Contributor trust: 1 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 320 [recommend question]