Answer

Indeed, it is not possible. Not in the way "normal" humans interpret the word "love".

For a detailed discussion of the narcissist's relationships with his children - go here:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq22.html

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/4.html

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal36.html

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq33.html

Answer

A N can love his/her children but not in the 'normal' or 'natural' way. My N father was/is unable to express love openly via words or behaviour - only by giving gifts, sometimes very generously at other times incredibly trivial. For example, when I would visit him he would never ever say "it's good to see you", or the like, but would give me a shirt/jacket/book as I was leaving. His (probably) lifetime of N prevents him from expressing any 'real' emotion ( positive or negative) apart from his sudden explosive outbursts of rage when something irritates him, or when he is 'challenged'. To me his lifetime of N, for whatever reason, has negated his ability to understand what love is. =

Answer

I am not a psychologist, however I have been in a relationship with a Narcissist for over 11 years and we have a daughter. I do believe he loves her, but as stated in the other answer, it is not in the "normal" manner, one may expect to witness as (defined by)love. He loves her, yet he pushes her away, he shows little empathy and is very conditional. He has no patience for her, and is very cold. He tends to get jealous of her, as though she has stolen his "spot light", and he is fighting for the center of attention again. He will show a lot of emotion, if there is a "show" to be put on; for family, co-workers, certain strangers.

Somedays I question it, however I am sure he loves her, because she is a part of him, however he resents that he needs to fight for my affection and time.

Answer

My N seemed to truly love his children, he was very proud of them. I can't know for sure but he seemed to truly love them.

Answer

To a narcissist his child is an object and act as narcissistic supply. A narcissist is proud of his children when they are successful because he can show off with them and will hide the truth about them if they are not successful.

Answer

My husband shows little concern for our children. I feel he loves them in his own way but it is his way or the highway.

Answer

No, a malignant narcissist parent is incapable of loving his or her children in a parental way. An MN is a two-year-old. Once his/her children grow up past age two, they have outgrown the MN, who can no longer understand or cope with them, or offer them anything of value at all. (And the MN will never forgive them for growing up.) Sure, often an MN parent will experience very intense feelings indeed towards the children, but those feelings are mislabeled as love. Neediness is not love; it is use, and use is abuse. Possessiveness is not love either; it is stalking. And finally, boundarylessness, control-freakery, is certainly not love either; it is VAMPIRISM. These are the things MNs feel towards their children, and none of it has anything to do with love. Aedhwilla

First answer by Judy. Last edit by Aedhwilla. Contributor trust: 30 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 212 [recommend question]